Calm My Anxious Heart

For the past 10 days or so I have been reading and soaking in the truths of Linda Dillow's book "Calm My Anxious Heart". God is teaching me to wait on Him and He has put me in a position in life where I am completely out of control, and that is really scary. I am currently subletting a room and will stay here until I fly home in August and when I get back... I have no place to move into yet. I also have no job lined up for the fall yet, prospects, but no security or comfort. God wants to be my sole security and comfort and I am going to learn that the hard way. I am so blessed to serve a God who loves me enough to teach me the things that I need, even when they are hard. I will post a blog in a month, and whatever I wrote, however this turns out, wherever I end up living and working will be a testimony to His faithfulness in my life and proof that He is indeed in control of everything, he is all-knowing, all-powerful and I have nothing to worry about. August 2009 is going to prove that to be true. His Word will come alive in my life and I will be a walking testament to Him. Until that blog post... when I know what is going to happen in my life... I pray continously, "Lord, calm my anxious heart." I surrender it to Him, lay it at his feet, surround myself with His truth, pray all day long, listen to music to soothe my spirit, and desperately ask for prayer... and I wait.

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Six

My day in 6 one-word descriptions:

1. Refreshing (new church)
2. Worshipful (I got to raise my hands to the King who is coming someday!)
3. Busy (Work was crazy and we were short-handed)
4. Frustrating (We were short-handed)
5. Nervous (Preparing for the future)
6. Starving (Poor planning on my part and hardly ate anything until I got home from work at 8... ate mac n' cheese - a very adult meal)

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I Need a Bookshelf.

My books have been stacked on my floor now for weeks... and are now tucked into a tupperware bin under my bed, which is sad because books are meant to be read, browsed, flipped through and looked at. But they are under my bed... and I hate that. For those of you who don't know me, or just haven't known me that long... here's the list:

High school graduation - 2001
1 - Grace Adventures - summer 2001
2 - Taylor University English Hall #303 - 2001-2002
3 - Grace Adventures - summer 2002
4 - Taylor University English Hall #307
5 - Mom and Dad's - spring and summer 2002
6 - Kenya - fall 2003
7 - Burton Street 2004-2005
8 - Mom and Dad's summer 2005
9 - South Africa fall 2005
10 - Tory's house - spring 2006 (college graduation)
11 - Jenny's house - May 2006
12 - Rockford house - summer 2006
13 - Orchard Hill - fall 2006-2007
14 - Kathy's house - spring 2008
15 - Grace Adventures - summer 2008
16 - Mom and Dad's - fall 2008-spring 2009
17 - Irma's house (Denver) - March-May 2009
18 -Kate's (not me) room - June-July 2009
????? August 2009...

Since high school graduation I have moved 18 times. I have lived in 13 separate locations in 8 years. I am anxious to stop using my college quilt, my sister's old twin sheets, put pictures on my wall, decorate, put my jewelry box on a dresser, have space for all my clothes, but most importantly have a bookshelf so my books can have a home once again. I am ready for stability, I have sowed my wild oats, traveled and done exotic things, but now I want a rhythm to my life, I want routine and a home to call my own. I am ready for a flower garden and a puppy. I ache for it, my soul yearns for it. Solace and independence. And it all starts with a bookshelf...




*disclaimer: I am so grateful for the places I have lived and the people I've lived with... I just don't want to put things in boxes, lug them down stairs, drive, unload, and then unpack them... AGAIN. ***

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