Post-storm

Oh dear...

It has been a month since I've written in here, I feel like I have lost touch with an old friend and much has happened. If this were an actual event and not just a metaphor, my old friend would be stunned and shocked with the pace at which my life is changing. It seems since my last post my life has gone from going in one direction, to doing a Michigan turn and going the opposite direction. I was searching to settle down in Grand Rapids, work full-time, find a ministry to get involved in, find a cozy corner to decorate and live in... but instead... I am moving 1,000 miles away to Denver Colorado. Wow... yeah I know.

When I am in the midst of a lot of change or when a lot is going on, you'd think that's when my journaling would increase, instead I can't write something until I have my thoughts formulated and I can't formulate my thoughts in the midst of the storm, it's only post-storm that I sit, reflect, gather my thoughts that are scattered all over the beach and leisurely record them as I sift through and figure out what is worth keeping. The same principle is applied to blogging, it is overwhelming to me to blog/write/reflect in the middle of it. However, the longer I wait after the storm... it is almost equally as overwhelming to "update" my life.

I'm moving.
Away, far away.
With no return ticket in hand, no idea if I'll ever live in West Michigan again.
I'm leaving my church (heart drops immedietly as I type this).
God is faithful, and has provided everything I need.
I feel more alive now that I have in a long time. I am leaving the comfort zone of my home and venturing out, with no guarantees or promises. It's an adventure where I'll meet new people, make new friends, have new experiences, do crazy things like down-hill skiing. And I do it all not for the sake of money, not to run away from the Michigan economy (to be honest I feel guilty, as though I am abandoning my home), not for the sake of adventure, but because I feel God is leading me on this path to Denver.

Through all this, I am discovering a new level of surrender and faith that is required to make such a move. On March 2nd, I'm packing as much stuff as I can into my '97 Grand Prix, I will cry until I reach South Haven, and then I will start to allow my past to be my past and to look ahead to the future... whatever that holds.