Snow Scrooge

I woke up yesterday morning, curling up on the couch under a blanket, and the sun was just starting to peak through the gray, gloomy clouds. My heart yearns for sunshine and my skin for vitamin D. My mom came downstairs and says with a disappointed tone that it looks like the snow is done falling for now. I yelped for joy, I don't want anymore precipitation coming down, cutting everyone's speeds in half on the highway and causing accidents and back-ups. She called me a snow scrooge. As Stephanie would say on Full House "how rude!" (If you don't know what I'm talking about, it probably means I'm getting too old). However, there might be some truth to that... *smile* I am trying to make friends with winter, with lots and lots of coffee, my snap and snuggle, fires in the wood-burning stove, wearing slippers every chance I get and borrowing my mom's oh-so-soft scarf. When the wind isn't blowing and the snow isn't falling, I'd say we're mere acquaintances.

I am currently holing up in Biggby Coffee in Grand Rapids, awaiting my next 4 hour shift at Yankee Candle. It is packed today, and I am literally tucked away in the corner. In order to get out I literally have to weave my way through a maze of chairs, feet, computer bags and shoulders. I kind of like it.

I would like to say that today I am filled with faith, but unfortunately it's one of those days that I feel so much more full of doubt. I am worried that I won't find a job soon, and I am heavy with the burdens of bills, debt, and borrowing money from people. I remember once I was traveling with my church choir when I was in high school, I had run out of money and we stopped for lunch on the way home. I was too timid and/or prideful to ask to borrow some money so I could eat, so I mooched a few fries and my tummy rumbled all the way home. I still struggle with asking for help, and if I am forced to, I carry it around like a burden, frustrated that I am being a burden to others. I don't know what the root of that is, but I am so tired of trying to squelch out the worry and stress, trying to remind myself of truth. Truth just seems as cloudy and gray as the clouds outside this afternoon. I long for someone to step in and believe for me when I'm too tired to keep on believing. My hope is dim today...

I am going to go immerse myself in His Word because on days like this, everything else seems fruitless and exhausting. It is only through His truth that I am energized... so I am going to go feast.